Love, Suicide and Mental Health | Suicide Prevention
Previously, I shared a bit about my personal experience with suicidal thoughts. After publishing, I heard from an unexpected number of women–some military dependents, some not. Many held similar fears of hurting their husband’s career or being a burden to those they love. Today is a follow up on the lie that suicide is a loving option. Today I’ll walk us through the maze that love, suicide and mental health can form.
So many who struggle with mental health can relate to perceiving themselves as a burden. It’s a bizarre and dangerous headspace. You dislike yourself and what your existence has become–but you love the people around you. Eventually your perception of yourself becomes so toxic, you start to believe the lie that eliminating yourself is the most loving thing you can do for those around you.
Being you has become unbearable. Ergo, being with you must be unbearable for those you love.
Being you has become unbearable. Ergo, being with you must be unbearable for those you love.
Like I said, it’s a slippery, dangerous trail of thinking–but others in our community have been there.
What can be done?
Depression is a Liar. Turn to the Truth.
First, remember depression is a liar. Then turn to the source of Truth, the Bible.
When I had those toxic thoughts, Derek kindly pointed me to the “Love Chapter,” 1 Corinthians 13. After all, love for the man I married was one of the only things that hadn’t blurred out of focus. With this starting point, I began unravelling a mess of lies. Line by line, piece by piece I cognitively examined what Scripture outlines as loving–at a time when I thought disappearing might be the most loving solution available.
Here’s a bit of how that process looked for me.
Love is patient.
In the Greek this is literally “to persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles; to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others.” Now apply that to this toxic thinking.
Love patiently, persistently waits, knowing help and healing may take a while. Those who love you will wait with you, being “slow to anger, slow to punish.” Loving yourself means understanding it takes patience to heal.
Love is kind.
Being kind to yourself means having grace while you find help. Being kind to Derek meant showing grace to the person he loves (me), and choosing intentionally kind words to speak about myself and him.
Love is not jealous/envious.
Love is not jealous of another’s circumstance. Those who love you are not jealous of a different circumstance. I needed to stop comparing myself, situation, troubles, etc to anyone or anything else.
Love trusts.
Choose to trust your loved ones when they tell you, you aren’t a burden. Trust your own tenacity and ability to overcome.
Love hopes.
Love for yourself and those around you means continuing to hope. Hope for a solution. Live in the joy of hope—even when enduring sadness and hardship. Find strength to hope for a future without depression and anxiety. Love does not interfere with others’ hoping for these things alongside you.
Love perseveres/endures.
Real love continues to persevere until a help can be found. Elimination of self is not loving perseverance. Those who love you will persevere through the season. Show love to them by choosing to persevere until help and healing can take root.
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do is Persevere in Finding Healing.
The darkness of depression can cause, even the clearest-thinking individual to become confused by lies and sadness. Depression is painful, can feel shameful and embarrassing, the mental agony can seem unbearable. If you’re there right now, know that healing is possible and it’s out there. The most loving thing you can do is persevering to find healing—not eliminating yourself.
If You Love Someone Struggling, Point Them to the Truth In Love.
If someone you love is in this headspace, love them by pointing them gently to Truth. Remind them it won’t always be like this, they are not a burden, and you’ll fight for healing alongside them. It might save their life.
I NEED YOUR HELP | ONE MORE THING BEFORE YOU GO…
Christian and military spouse. YOUR help will get the book published. The easiest way is click “FOLLOW” on Instagram or sign up for my monthly newsletter via email (below). Your support demonstrates interest in this story and these words of hope.
Above all, thank you for being here and for your support. It’s an honor to share my testimony with you and I’m excited to see the great things God does through your journey.
FREE Where to Get Mulch in Minot | Minot Monday
Happy Minot Monday! I’m thrilled to be working in partnership with BeLocal Minot to help you live like a local and thrive in our town. Today I’m sharing insider tips on where to get mulch in Minot.
Don’t be fooled by the unseasonably warm weather. Cool temps are coming. Cold temps too. If you’re like me, I’ll be able to find you prepping your yard and exterior for winter. For me that usually means adding a bit of mulch to flower beds and around baby perennials to protect them from winter’s bite.
Here’s where my tip comes in. Let’s talk about where to get mulch in Minot. Did you know you can get FREE mulch here in town? Yep. Free. As much as you want. You actually have two options:
Mulch Mountain | The Forestry Department
Recently I talked with a crew from the Minot Forestry Department. They explained the city turns trees the Forestry Dept cuts down into wood chips/mulch. All these wood chips are piled up into what I’ve deemed, “Mulch Mountain.” Anyone can come by and pick up as much as they want (depending on supply.) You just need to provide a way to transport it–I shoveled some into a large landscape bag in the back of my SUV.
To access Mulch Mountain, go south on 14th St SE (drive past the Forestry Office/parking lot). Then turn east on Central Ave E. You’ll see a lot with a pile for your taking! See a map here.
City Landfill
If you’ve been raking leaves, you’ve probably taken a few bags full to yard-waste collection sites. What you might not know is all the debris from our yards gets turned into mulch at the landfill. Minot residents can go to the landfill and pick up as much as they like. While the pile at the Forestry Dept is mostly wood, this mulch may include lots of leaves as well–making it a good choice for bedding down for winter.
Same rules apply as from the Forestry Dept: bring your own supplies and haul your own. (For more on our landfill and what they offer, see this Minot Monday post.)
One More Thing
Many of you know I’ve started work on a book detailing my experience as a military spouse seeking help for mental health crisis. To support this work, normalize the conversation around mental health in the military and Church–or just more about life in Minot, join me on Instagram (just click follow below.) I’d also love to connect with you through my monthly letter, full of good words and useful bits–see more here.
The Scary Advice Doctors Gave Me | Military Spouse Perspective on Suicide
September is Suicide Prevention Month.
Trigger warning: In an effort to normalize conversations, I’m sharing my military spouse perspective on suicide and the fear that a mental health crisis may affect our husband’s career. While this account does not contain anything graphic, it does include examples of toxic thoughts.
I asked for help, even in the primary care clinic.
I sat on the crinkly white paper. I’d probably come in with a sore throat. Or maybe it was an earache. Whatever the cause, it was a minor malady. I’d already cried that morning. Somehow I found clothes, brushed my teeth, braided my hair. This appointment was the driving factor getting me out of the house.
The tech took my blood pressure and asked the basic mental health screening questions. A few months prior, I may not have been utterly transparent. Now, I didn’t care if this man thought I was crazy. There was no reason to deny I was in crisis. Some days I could barely function. I was desperate for someone to tell me how I could stop my brain from collapsing.
My answers indicated I needed more help than a round of antibiotics for a sinus infection.
The providers probably meant well, but their words were dangerous.
Here’s the part I hesitate most to share. This scenario played out twice, maybe more, in the months I spent waging war in mental health crisis. I don’t think these healthcare providers acted in malice. As active duty military members, I think they acted according to their mission mindset. Maybe they thought their words would be helpful—maybe they’d be the tough love I needed to “snap out of it.”
I don’t hold a grudge. However, I think recording these encounters is important. Military spouse perspective on suicide and depression needs to be normalized. There is no room for stigma when lives are on the line—and when it comes to depression, lives are on the line.
Once a professional implied I was a burden I started to consider how life would be better without me.
I heard the familiar double-knock that always accompanies a healthcare provider entering a room. We discussed my intake answers.
I remember one asking, “Have you considered how incredibly selfish this is? Your husband is living his career dreams. This is his time. Right now, he needs to focus. This could affect his career. Maybe you can wait and sort this out after he’s done. Just think about it.”
I remember another saying, “Just picture the years of military commitment like a clock counting down. Eventually, you could have a different lifestyle. Then maybe your depression will get better. Until then, try to see this from your husband’s point of view. This is a heavy burden to lay on him. This could affect his career. Can you understand that?”
No. I was never suicidal in that I had a plan. But words like this pushed me dangerously close. Hearing those words from professionals I came to for help was devastating. After these encounters I started considering how much better Derek’s life would be without me.
No, I never had a plan. I never attempted. But there was a season when I was convinced the world would be a better place if I could just be gone.
There’s hope and truth.
Friends, if those words were said to me–they’ve probably been said to someone else. If you’re thinking the people you love most would be better without you, I see you. I’ve been you. And it’s a lie. You’re valuable. It won’t always be this way. There is hope. There is healing. The process of finding that healing can be arduous–I’ve been there, I’m working to make it less so. But healing can be found. You are worth the fight.
Speak truth with grace, tough love doesn’t work.
September is Suicide Prevention Month. The military spouse perspective on suicide needs to change. We need to know it’s safe to share what’s going on. If lives are going to be saved, there is no room for tough love or tough-it-out attitudes.
If I know one thing for certain, it’s that we are fully capable of filling our own minds with negativity, self-doubt and lies. Use your words to speak truth, hope and love. Be honest, but gentle. Depression is complicated and can be life threatening. Let’s lift each other up and point each other to the Source of Hope. You just never know who may be on the brink.
Colossians 3:12-16 | Love each other.
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also. In addition to all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ, to which you were indeed called in one body, rule in your hearts; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
One More Thing
For more encouragement, truth and transparent sharing that will normalize the mental health conversation among milspouses and Christians, join me on Instagram. I’d also love to connect with you through my monthly letter, full of good words and useful bits–see more here.
The Unexpected Good Thing About Deployments
The following is an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote at the beginning of Derek’s most recent deployment. While he was quarantined stateside (but gone from our home), we had a Zoom meeting with a young couple as part of their premarital counseling. They are the exact ages we were when we got married, 22 and 23. They’d soon be starting their life as a married, military couple. The question we discussed that most stands out to me is, “What is a good thing about deployments?”
Our conversation blessed me. We were two weeks into our latest separation, my first as a mom of two. Honestly, I felt like I was drowning. The clarity this conversation forced on me is exactly what I needed. It was God showing up in the midst of the grief the early days of deployment always bring.
WHAT IS A GOOD THING ABOUT DEPLOYMENTS?
I glanced at the monitor, amazed that everyone was quiet and sleeping so our conversation could be had in peace. Deployment leaves you a special, unique kind of tired. Today was no exception, but at the same time I was glad to be having this conversation.
“Okay, the next question is…What is something good that comes from times of separation and deployments? Can you tell us a good thing about deployments?” What a wise question to ask.
I was surprised by the answer that was ready on my lips.
“The best thing about being separated from Derek for a season is that it brings clarity about my identity. It forces me to recognize that I am fully complete in Christ alone. My identity does not rest upon being Derek’s wife, or having him around. When he’s gone, I remember that I am fully equipped and capable in Christ to carry on and do what life will ask of me.
“I tend to be a bit of a leech, clinging on to whatever is familiar, especially my people. I had terrible separation anxiety from my parents as a child–then from Derek as an adult. That’s not healthy. These seasons force me to break off any unhealthy attachment and remember that it’s okay to just be Amy. Don’t get me wrong, I hate being away from Derek. But good always comes from it. Good will always come when we more fully submit our identity to God.”
I stand by that. Is it painful? You betcha. Do I wish it could be done a different way? Yep. But this is good. Really good. The kind of good that would be a lot harder to find if I wasn’t forced into a deployment circumstance.
I wish someone had told me that 12 years ago. I wish someone had told me lots of things 12 years ago.
There is hope, there is reason, there is progress. Even in these terribly hard days. It seems like no good will ever come from being forced apart, but with God good things are always probable.
Separation Diary: March 26, 2021
I NEED YOUR HELP | ONE MORE THING BEFORE YOU GO
Recently, I started penning sample chapters for a memoir detailing my experience with mental health crisis as a Christian and military spouse. YOUR help will get the book published. The easiest way is click “FOLLOW” on Instagram or sign up for my monthly newsletter via email (below). Your support demonstrates interest in this story and these words of hope.
Above all, thank you for being here and for your support. It’s an honor to share my testimony with you and I’m excited to see the great things God does through your journey.
Reliable Ways To Embrace Life In Minot | Minot Monday
Minot Monday is made possible through a partnership with BeLOCAL Minot. Today I’m sharing reliable ways to embrace life in Minot. These are the things that took me from newcomer to, “Minot is my town.” For more tips, lists and information on living like a local be sure to follow BeLOCAL.
For me, the hardest part of the military lifestyle has been moving. The seemingly endless uprooting and starting over. That’s part of the reason we requested to come back to Minot. Yes, we love it here–but starting over from the ground up is exhausting. Any military family can attest.
So, if you’re here for the first time, welcome. I’m glad you’re in Minot. I know what it’s like to be new in town. In lots of towns. Of all the places we’ve explored, Minot is close to the top of the list of places we most enjoy living. However, it wasn’t easy finding our place in town when we first arrived in the summer of 2012.
Through luck, a few good acquaintances and my tenacity to figure out how to live like a local, we eventually found our way. The truth is, there’s a difference between living in and deciding to embrace life in Minot. Only you can choose which you’ll pursue. Here are my best tips for settling in and beginning to embrace life in Minot.
Find a Church
Settling in and investing in a church home truly gave us a place in town. We made friends, became invested and contributed our skills to a cause we are passionate about: The Kingdom of Christ. If you are a church-goer, muster the tenacity to keep “church-shopping” until you find a good fit.
If you aren’t a church-goer, that’s okay too. Churches are great places for investing in the community or just forming relationships. Most Minot churches I’m familiar with would welcome a newcomer to town with open arms–whether your beliefs fully align or not. Join a small group, volunteer, play sports. Church is a great first contact for feeling at home.
Mourn Your Loss
If you are moving to Minot from a place you loved, it’s okay to be sad. Take time to mourn your loss. Being uprooted is painful, especially if you didn’t have a choice in when or where you needed to move next. Be sad, but don’t wallow in misery. Allow that wound to heal and intentionally seek ways to begin enjoying your life here.
Be Openminded
I say this all the time: Minot is unlike anywhere else you’ve lived. It’s my golden rule. Don’t expect Minot to be Dallas, Pensacola, Washington DC, Omaha, Shreveport, Salt Lake City, or anywhere else. It’s just Minot. Embrace it for the quirky, sitcom-vibing place it is. Stay openminded about the life you can build here.
Invest in the Community
Find something you love or hate about town and invest there. As a community, Minot is incredibly receptive to new ideas. Hop on board with something you love and are passionate about. Or, pinpoint something you passionately dislike and work to change it.
If you have an idea and plan, chances are others will rally around you. Minot is one of the few places I’ve lived where an individual can have a significant impact, even if they only live in town for a few years.
Be Social
Minot is a social town. Events happen all the time, and the folks who go to one event usually go to others. Start attending and you’ll start running into familiar faces. Keep up with the BeLocal Instagram feed and the Visit Minot calendar to see what’s happening. Be intentional about getting out year round and you’ll start to appreciate what Minot has to offer.
From a mental health standpoint, socializing will offer healing and isolation will only fester your wounds and allow lies and dissatisfaction to breed. I know it can be scary, but truly be intentional about getting out when things are going on.
Introduce Yourself
Making new friends is hard. I get it, but you can do it. Here are ten places I’ve made friends in Minot:
- Kids activities (Fun Zone, Story Times, Library Activities)
- Group Fitness Classes
- Church
- Serving on a nonprofit board
- Reaching out to people with like interests on Instagram
- Taking a class
- Volunteering
- Military spouse groups/events
- Work
- Being a regular at a cafe/restaurant/shop
You Can Do This
The season of change is a difficult one. But trust me when I say, Minot is glad to have you. Give it time, give it a chance. Minot might not be a dream home for everyone, but I believe anyone can enjoy their time here.
One More Thing…I Need a Favor
Recently, I started penning sample chapters for a memoir
detailing my experience with mental health crisis as a Christian and military spouse. YOUR help will get the book published. The easiest way is click “FOLLOW” on Instagram or sign up for my monthly newsletter via email (below). Your support demonstrates interest in this story and these words of hope.
Above all, thank you for being here and for your support. It’s an honor to share my testimony with you and I’m excited to see the great things God does through your journey.
For more on Minot basics, positive living and encouragement be sure to join me on Instagram and Facebook. And for more about living like a local, follow BeLOCAL and read their publication.
Five Important Minot Basics to Help Newcomers | Minot Monday
Minot Monday is made possible through a partnership with BeLOCAL Minot. Today I’m sharing the five Minot basics for newcomers I share with all the newbies I meet. For more tips, lists and information on living like a local be sure to follow BeLOCAL.
Five Minot Basics I Tell Everyone
Happy Minot Monday, everyone! I’ve had this conversation loads of times. Over coffee, cookies, or a walk in the park, I talk to someone new in town. In my best effort to help them settle in (without overwhelming them with my love of Minot) I rattle off these five basics. These are the five starting points I give everyone who asks me how to start settling in to life in Minot.
Get a Library Card
The Minot Public Library is a gem. It’s not just about borrowing books, it’s about community. Sure, go borrow books—but also take part in book clubs, children’s story time, and board game get togethers. Borrow tools if you’re new and need to work on your house. Borrow games and play them with your neighbors. Use the giant printer to create art for your walls.
I’ve met friends in town simply through attending library programs. I cannot say enough good things. If you’re new in town—get a library card.
Eat at Elevation
There are lots of great places to eat in Minot. However, I always tell new-in-towners to eat at Elevation. It’s just far enough out of town to feel away, just fancy enough to feel special and the scenery is pretty enough to take your mind off being in Minot. (Because, sometimes you need to feel like you are someplace besides a small town in northern North Dakota.)
Utilize the Parks Department
I always tell newcomers to go outside when they can. There will be chunks of time in the year that being outside is not safe. Our parks department works so hard and comes up with great ideas year round.
During nice weather, tap into the parks (especially the lesser known places) or hit up my favorite places to walk. Go to the zoo. And the pool.
In cool weather, watch for events like the pumpkin walk, movies at Maysa Arena or use the Fun Zone (which is a complete jewel and free!) Follow the Parks Dept for updates and fun ideas.
Watch the Events Calendar
I cannot stress this enough: Minot has a lot going on. Like, way more than most other places we’ve called home. Also, activities are inexpensive, when compared to bigger cities or other places we’ve lived. I recommend scanning the Minot events calendar once a week to keep a pulse on what’s coming up. Also follow BeLocal and Visit Minot for announcements. This will help you dive into fun downtown and around town.
Find a Cause
Minot is a unique place where you have the capacity to do a lot of good. If you see something that can be improved, the community is very receptive to new ideas for making this a more enjoyable place to live. Find a cause to get behind. Once you are invested, you’ll start to really feel ownership—like this is your town…which, of course, it is.
One More Thing…I Need a Favor
Recently, I started penning sample chapters for a memoir
detailing my experience with mental health crisis as a Christian and military spouse. YOUR help will get the book published. The easiest way is click “FOLLOW” on Instagram or sign up for my monthly newsletter via email (below). Your support demonstrates interest in this story and these words of hope.
Above all, thank you for being here and for your support. It’s an honor to share my testimony with you and I’m excited to see the great things God does through your journey.
For more on Minot basics, positive living and encouragement be sure to join me on Instagram and Facebook. And for more about living like a local, follow BeLOCAL and read their publication.
8 Powerful Truths About Depression for Christians to Give You Hope
Let’s talk about depression, anxiety and Christians for a sec. In this quick read, I’ll give you 8 powerful truths I’ve learned (the hard way) for depressed Christians
Memories of struggling against anxiety, overwhelming sadness, fear and self loathing reach back as far as I can remember. I was raised in a loving, church-going family. My parents gave me a wonderful life. I understood the plan of Salvation at 7 and believed Jesus was my Savior. At 12 I gave my heart to Christ with a more mature understanding of what following Him meant.
After that, I fell more deeply in love with Jesus every day and through every season. But still, the fear and sadness crippled me sometimes. Still, I blamed myself for things that went wrong, things that cause me hurt, things that thwarted my ambitions, and all the other things that were out of my control. As a result, my shoulders ached from carrying the burden of my own emotions—and taking on too much responsibility for the emotions of others.
I prayed, I went to church, I professed Jesus with my heart and my lips. Still, the anxiety came and went. Still, depression cyclically set up camp in my heart. Things weren’t right.
Why Are So Many Christians Anxious and Depressed?
In January 2015 I was in the heart of a mental health crisis. Panic set in most nights. Racing, intrusive thoughts pushed their way into my mind, preventing the rest I needed so badly. One of the scariest thoughts that came to mind over and over is this one:
“You fail at everything. Even Salvation. If you’d done Salvation right, this wouldn’t be happening.”
Friend, I can’t tell you why I struggled so deeply. I can’t give you an easy fix. Shortly after those panicky nights in 2015 full healing began to take place. I’ve spent the years since retraining my brain to think differently, to sort out lies and live outside of the anxiety/depression cycle. There’s hope, there’s healing. However, I’ve spent time wondering “why me?” and “why do so many Christians experience anxiety and depression?”
I don’t have the answer now, and I probably never will. But here are some hard-won truths I can share with you.
Truths About Depression, For Christians
Experiencing depression and anxiety as a Christian doesn’t mean your faith is broken.
It doesn’t mean you aren’t faithful.
It doesn’t mean your salvation isn’t intact.
It doesn’t mean you prayed wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’ve done Christianity wrong.
It doesn’t mean God is punishing you.
It doesn’t mean God “designed” or “destined” you for sadness.
It doesn’t mean God isn’t good.
It means we have a very bad enemy who aims to thwart the Kingdom of Christ by inflicting isolation and sadness upon those who bear witness to His relational nature and unstoppable joy.
Do your best to get to the root of what is causing your fear and sadness. Talk to a counselor. Uproot lies. Get a clear understanding of God’s character.
We’ll never have all the answers, but we will always have all the Hope. Never forget that the God of the Bible, is at His core, a God of Hope.
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
One More Thing…I Need a Favor
I need a favor.
Recently, I started penning sample chapters for a memoir detailing my experience with mental health crisis as a Christian and military spouse. YOUR help will get the book published. Your support demonstrates interest in this story and these words of hope.
Please take a moment to join me on Instagram, Facebook and via email (sign up below). Above all, thank you for being here and for your support. It’s an honor to share my testimony with you and excited to see the great things God does through your journey.
How to Find Happiness When You’re Stuck by Circumstances
When You’re Stuck by Circumstances
In January, Derek came home with the unexpected news that he’d been assigned to an upcoming deployment. For me, momentum had been building steadily with my writing goals and I’d finally said, “Yes,” to God’s prompting to start penning a long-form memoir about my experience with mental health crisis. In that moment in the kitchen, after the boys were in bed and my hand was on the blender, preparing to mix my nightly protein shake, everything came to a halt.
Now instead of feeling creative and ready to move forward toward the things I believed God had clearly set in front of me—I was frozen. As if I was unknowingly playing freeze tag, this moment was my tag, causing me to stop midstride.
Have you ever had a moment like that?
My entire focus shifted. We planned for months apart. Seven, to be exact. Uneasiness and uncertainty welled up inside every time I thought about doing life without my husband for “most of a year.”
Writing is always a welcome outlet for me, but when military assignments, especially deployments, are in the picture, the best policy is silence. Unable to fully disclose was what happening in our home and in my heart, I wrote vaguely about anxiety and emotions. The headspace once open for writing, book proposals, and dreaming up creative endeavors was crowded out with dreaming up reasonable consequences for a defiant three year old and ways to convince an infant to sleep all night.
Hemmed in by daily responsibility, fatigue and operational security measures, I felt claustrophobic. Stuck. Lodged between the need for silence and the desire to share my heart transparently.
Finding Freedom Within Hard Circumstances
I had an image of a dog pulling on a taut tether in my mind. I was frustrated to be restrained in my pursuits. However, as in all difficult seasons, growth happened and peace grew once I stopped straining against the circumstances. Like the frustrated dog, when I stopped snapping my jaws at things beyond my leash, my throat relaxed and I could breathe again.
I wasn’t off the tether, I wasn’t unstuck—but I was able to thrive in the space I was given at the time. I was able to see the unique beauty and opportunity within these circumstances. God is a kind, responsible master. The tether He gives us is always long enough for the space we’re in at the time.
I loosened my grip on the things I thought I’d accomplish in these months and allowed myself to be happy amid the daily grind of wiping faces and preparing PB&Js. It wasn’t a perfect practice. Many days I was overwhelmed and cranky because I remembered that I was stuck in some respects. But mostly, we were okay.
Moving Forward Again
Now, I’m coming down from a season of heightened awareness. The kind that comes from being vigilant for two. My mind is shaking loose. I’m becoming unstuck, dislodged. As a person recently stuck, here’s my advice:
Circumstances can leave you stuck, really stuck, but circumstances are faithful to change and you’ll move forward again. When you are stuck in one way, growth will be forced in another way. Find a way to weather the circumstances you’re in, even enjoy them. Eventually, the growth that stalled will move forward again.
Why the Deployment Ended Early and Why I Would Have Been Okay, Even if it Didn’t.
PS—for anyone wondering how seven months apart turned into four, it went something like this. Shortly after Derek left, President Biden announced all troops would be out of Afghanistan by September 11. That would reduce our time apart to six months.
One day in early June Derek mentioned the possibility of an even earlier return. Then, in late June, just days before I would travel to Indiana with the boys he told me his homecoming was imminent. We’d be back together after only four months apart. I was surprised that I wasn’t overwhelmed with giddy relief. Instead, I felt excitement, but also a deep confidence that we’d be okay if he really didn’t return for a few more months. This was puzzling at first, but ultimately a sign of growth, hard fought, well earned.
More Positivity and Encouragment
Let’s get to know each other. Join me on Instagram and Facebook where we can connect more deeply. I’d love to hear from you. Don’t forget to sign up for emails, so you can access freebies and never miss a post.
Ten Great Coffee and Breakfast Places in Minot | Minot Monday
Minot Monday is made possible through a partnership with BeLOCAL Minot. Today I’m exploring ten great coffee and breakfast places in Minot. For more tips, lists and information on living like a local be sure to follow BeLOCAL.
Happy Minot Monday, everyone! If you follow me over on Instagram, you may know that my mom is in town for an extended visit: eight weeks! While she’s in town, we’ve instated what we’re referring to as “Bakery Day.” Each Saturday, we’re visiting a different bakery, coffee shop, or breakfast joint in town. Yes, I know they aren’t all “bakeries,” but to call it something else was just wasn’t as catchy.
Today I’ll try to hit a couple flies with a single swat, so to speak. Some of my top questions about life in Minot include: where are good places to get breakfast/coffee, things to do, what to do with visitors. This list hits all of those.
The following ten great coffee and breakfast places in Minot are not the only places. For us, criteria for a Bakery Day stop include:
- Must have coffee–not necessarily espresso drinks
- There must be something for Gideon (3 YO) will eat/drink too
- Must have room enough for me to bring my littles along
These are the places on the “tour” I’m taking my mom on. (In no particular order.) I hope they’ll inspire you to get out, try a new place and enjoy Minot this summer.
Great Coffee and Breakfast Places in Minot
1. Prairie Sky Breads
PSB is a great stop any time, and especially great if you’ve got a visitor in town. It’s location makes it easy to pop over to Main Street and show off our quaint downtown to your family and friends. They’ve got good space, so you can find a table and sit. PSB is especially kid friendly, because they’ve got a kids’ corner set up with a play garden, farmers’ market and coffee shop.
The coffee is good, but as the name implies, the bread is even better. I’ve never gone wrong with a their toasts or cinnamon rolls.
2. Minot’s Daily Bread
Minot’s Daily Bread has a tricky parking lot, but it’s always worth it. I love the crepes (especially the Midwestern) and the scones. The coffee is also top notch. On weekdays it’s easy to find a seat and there is usually space for my crew at a table by the windows. On weekends, try to get there before 10 to avoid a rush.
3. Ebeneezer’s
Ebeneezer’s is nearly always overlooked as a place for breakfast and coffee. I’ll let you in on a secret though, they’ve got my favorite pancakes in town. If you’re into pancakes, this is the place to grab a quick and cheap breakfast. It’s family friendly and because the whole breakfast thing is a bit of a secret, mornings are usually pretty quiet.
4. Bearscat Bakehouse
Bearscat is Minot’s only true donut shop. The donuts are delightful (I’m particularly fond of their old fashioned) and there are lots to choose from, even if you aren’t an early riser. The coffee is pretty standard (drip coffee and espresso style drinks from a machine), but it goes down smooth next to a sweet donut.
Indoor seating has been limited during COVID, but in regular times there are a few small tables inside. It’s not the most spacious place in town, but still worth it for the donuts.
5. Blissful Bee Smoothies
This one is new, even to me. Blissful Bee is inside Green Thumb Greenhouse and is open for its first season starting this spring. There isn’t ample seating, but you don’t need to sit to drink coffee or a smoothie. I’m excited to try this one and wander around the gorgeous greenhouse.
6. Schatz Crossroads
You know I love Schatz. If you’re doing a breakfast tour, its a must-stop for me. The coffee is typical diner brew–but the breakfast menu is over the top. I’m a huge fan of the hash brown combo. There usually isn’t a wait for tables, but weekends are busy–especially after church on Sunday.
7. Foundry Coffee Co
The Foundry Coffee Co is one of my favorite places to grab coffee and sit for a quiet chat. I love their coffee, I love the staff, and I especially love the quiet, open space. It’s easy to bring the littles–there is even enough room for the stroller. While the Foundry is only open twice a month on weekends, the coffee shop is open daily.
8. Elevation
Elevation is my favorite restaurant in Minot. While they don’t do brunch daily, it’s completely worth stopping in for brunch on the weekend (especially for a special occasion like Mother’s Day.) The caramel roll is delightful–but it’s huge so be prepared to split it!
9. Broadway Bean and Bagel
I love buying ground coffee for my own home from Bean and Bagel. I love their flavored roasts that much. As far as drip coffee goes, this is my favorite in town. And obviously the bagels are great too.
Dining in at Bean and Bagel is especially appealing to me because their “back room” has open, living room style seating which is perfect for a stroller and a little one who has trouble sitting at a table for extended lengths of time.
10. Charlie’s Main Street
Charlie’s will give you all the small town diner feels. The staff is so nice, the food is so good. You’ll never be sorry with anything off the breakfast menu. It’s a little tight and it can be crowded (for good reason), but if you’re looking for a good breakfast Charlie’s won’t steer you wrong.
11. Cookies For You
If you are doing a bakery tour, you’d be remiss not to stop to Cookies For You for a frosted sugar cookie and a cup of coffee. They’ve got a small breakfast menu and a variety of drinks–but who says cookies for breakfast isn’t a good idea?
I’ve never been there when it’s packed with folks dining in, so you can usually find a good seat.
For More
For more on Minot, positive living and encouragement be sure to join me on Instagram and Facebook. And for more about living like a local, follow BeLOCAL and read their publication.
Five Reasons to Love Life in Minot, ND | Minot Monday
Minot Monday is made possible through a partnership with BeLOCAL Minot. BeLOCAL is a guide to finding your groove and living like a local in our community. Check out the publication here, and be sure to follow them on Instagram.
It’s no secret that Minot has a negative reputation, especially in the military community. I hear jokes all the time, I see articles ranking Minot among the “worst assignments” in the Air Force. Odd looks when I tell others we love it here and it’s one of our favorite assignments are regular for me.
Let others spout their nonsense and negativity. I’ll speak truth to you. You can trust me not to sugarcoat the winter weather or the ticks. No location can be completely perfect, right? Yet, all that aside–I love life in Minot. And I’ll never stop declaring that. We like it so much we asked to come back. Today I’m sharing five reasons to love life in Minot.
1. Everything is Close
At the top of my reasons to love life in Minot is that, in town everything is nearby. I never find myself making a choice between activities due to commute time. I’m rarely late, even with two little boys in tow. We can leave the house “late” and still arrive nearly on time to nearly any place in town.
Shopping? Ten minute drive. Park? 10 minute walk. Friends? 5-10 minutes by foot or car. Library? Five minute drive. Hardware store? 15 minute drive. Zoo? Ten minute drive. Church? Five minute drive.
After living in Minot for years, I’ve been completely spoiled by the convenience.
2. There’s A Lot Going On
I’ll be the first to admit that Minot is not a tourist destination. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot happening. Of all the places we’ve lived, Minot consistently has the most happening. There’s always something to do or some event we’re interested in attending–you just need to be proactive about looking into what’s happening.
The city of Minot tries incredibly hard to provide a high quality of life for residents. New events and new ideas are constantly welcomed, which leads to a community that almost always has something fun going on.
Keep tabs on what’s going on by watching the calendar of events at
- the BeLOCAL Instagram page and story highlights
- VisitMinot.org
- Macaroni Kid Minot (specifically family/kid friendly events)
- my Instagram page and story–I share what we’re up to
3. Things are Affordable
Speaking of community happenings, another one of my reasons to love life in Minot is that events are so affordable. Minot offers lots of free events year round (like the fun zone for kids, community concerts, arts in the park, Christmas in the park, weekly story times, and loads of events hosted by the parks department.) Events that aren’t free are (in my opinion) shockingly affordable.
We’ve lived in many different cities across America, and enjoying community events here is easier than anywhere else because most of them require such a low cost.
Rarely am I forced to choose between two events I’d really like to attend because of cost. Should we go to the zoo or the pool this week? The cost is low enough we can do both. Eyeing date night at summer theater, but also want to take the kids to the a zoo class? We can do both.
4. Minot is the Perfect Place to Try Something New
All the reasons I’ve listed above play into this reason: Minot is the perfect place to try something new. Things are close, there’s lots going on, things are affordable–so learn something new or try something you’ve never heard of.
When we moved to Minot the first time, I was amazed at how accessible is was to try new things. Since living here I’ve taken up square dancing, playing the accordion and curling; I’ve taken classes in glass blowing and fusing, wheel thrown pottery and a variety of other smaller crafts. I’ve got my eye on learning the art of rosemaling and furthering my skill on the pottery wheel (both things I’ll be able to do in the coming year.)
I’ve taken Gideon (now three years old) to brass band concerts, plays, recitals, zoo classes, a hockey game, skating performance, music class, a you pick garden and countless story times. This weekend he’ll go to his first powwow, this summer he’ll participate in tee ball for the first time. If there’s something he is interested in or asked about chances are I can find a way to introduce him to it here in Minot (and most likely, it won’t break our bank.)
5. The Community is Unique
I always tell newcomers to Minot, “Anything can happen here.” This really is a unique place. If you are proactive about enjoying what the community has to offer, you’ll find this to be a magical place. The people are quirky and nice and eager to see others invested and thriving here. Small businesses root for each other and collaborate. Residents are happy to share their experience, skill and resources.
Of all the things we love about Minot, this is the thing I love most, but also the hardest to describe. It’s an intangible quality of knowing someone nearly everywhere you go–or being one acquaintance away from basically anyone in town. It’s that Hallmark-movie-meets-small-town-sitcom feeling I get when I’m at a pancake breakfast or walking Main Street at Christmastime.
It’s hard to explain, but you’ll have to take my word for it. If you give Minot a chance, you’ll love it here.
For More
For more on Minot, positive living and encouragement be sure to join me on Instagram and Facebook. And for more about living like a local, follow BeLOCAL and read their publication.
